


worst case scenario

by emptypockets



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Blindness, Hurt/Comfort, Oneshot, i got excited about this and turned it into it's own thing, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 23:52:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16459454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emptypockets/pseuds/emptypockets
Summary: The Doctor drops her hand and opens her eyes, seeming to deflate at the result and closing them again so that she can keep pretending it's the only thing that prevents her from being able to see. It's the worst feeling and she didn't miss it at all. The lack of security, stability, the disorientation - except this time she doesn't have sonic sunglasses to bridge the gap. She doesn't want to take a single step for fear she'll trip and crash into the floor. She can take a punch no problem, but it's the fist that she can't bear.





	worst case scenario

**Author's Note:**

> So I got this prompt over on my other work from GreyIves: 'You know in the episode Extremis when the twelfth doctor temporarily cures his blindness by taking something from his future self? I was wondering if you could perhaps make a whumpy fic with the ramifications of that decision for thirteen. Maybe she goes suddenly blind in the middle of a desperate situation?' And for whatever reason I wanted it to be it's own fic. It was REALLY fun to write so thank you for suggesting it!

"Ryan! Ryan?!"

It's a cruel, clever penitentiary, and the Doctor is very keen to get Ryan out. A simple cell is too much to ask for, apparently. Cells are easy to breach. A whirr and a buzz and bing bang boom, you're home free. An underground labyrinth of tunnels stretching on for indefinite lengths - not so simple. 

"Ryan!" She's been searching for close to an hour now, and the Doctor has no way of knowing whether she's actually progressing or just going in circles. The stone walls are cool against her palm as she trails one hand along them, attempting to leave herself a mental trail of breadcrumbs so that when she  _does_ find Ryan, she doesn't end up finding herself lost and confined as well. 

Yaz and Graham are back on the surface, following the Doctor's instructions to gather any supplies they can find in the TARDIS. Rope, pulleys, anything to drop into the gap in the earth out in the middle of nowhere to pull the Doctor and Ryan up and out once they find their way back. 

_"How do you plan to get down there?"_ Graham had asked, staring down the hole in the ground that supposedly will lead to his grandson. 

The Doctor had flashed him an incredulous look, as if the answer was so obvious that the question shouldn't have been asked in the first place.  _"Gravity!"_ And she'd dropped into the gap, landing on the stone floor with a thud and a forced exhale from the impact. 

_"The thing about gravity,"_ Yaz had challenged, laying down with her face looming over the opening.  _"Is that it only goes one way. I'm assuming you've got a plan to get the two of you back_ out _?"_

_"Not necessarily, but I'm sure you'll come up with something."_ And with that she'd walked on, venturing deeper, wasting no time, calling back once more before she was out of earshot.  _"Should be something handy in the TARDIS. I'll be back soon!"_

 

Two hours have passed now, and the Doctor is starting to lose what little sense of direction she has left. She continues to call out, but sound doesn't seem to carry properly amidst the maze, bouncing off the walls and landing loudly back in her own ears instead of carrying forward. 

When she finds Ryan he's climbing a pile of rocks, eyes fixed on a tiny gap of light several meters up that he definitely won't be able to fit through even if he can make the climb. Desperation makes you  -  well  -   _desperate._

"Ryan!" She lunges forward to join him, beaming with relief even as he's startled into slipping off the rocks and falling to the floor. He looks more irritated than injured, and she clasps her hand around his wrist to hoist him up. "You're a sight for sore eyes. How's the weather down here?" 

Disgruntled, Ryan stabilizes himself and brushes the dust off his clothes. "Stuffy. What took you lot so long? Where are Yaz and Graham?" 

"Back up top working on getting us out of here once we get back to the entrance. Sorry for the wait, got a bit lost, but I'll get you out of here. Did you try looking for an exit?"

Ryan stares at her, mouth slightly agape. "This place is  _built_ to confuse the hell out of you. Of course I looked for an exit, and I'd like to have a few words with the architects responsible for this dump." He pauses. "Actually, no I don't. I'd rather not get knocked out and dropped off in the middle of this place again."

"I  _told you_  not to touch anything. This lot is very finicky about their stuff. Just about everything on their grounds is some shape or form of sacred. Ah ah-" She holds up a hand as Ryan starts to interject. "I  _know_ it was just a piece of fruit, but of course you'd end up gawking over the last Mangosteen that they've been aging for two centuries that's supposed to be made into a ceremonial wine when the prince turns sixteen."

Ryan ducks down to avoid the low hanging ceiling on a portion of the path as they trek through. "It's not like I was gonna eat it, I just wanted a closer look. It had  _spikes_ you know. Long ones."

"Spikey alien fruit. Add it to your list of things not to mess with." 

Ryan mutters something under his breath and the two put conversation on the back-burner, concentrating on finding their way home.

It's been about twenty minutes and the Doctor feels pretty decent about their progress. She continues to run her hand along the wall, embedding every crack and raise into her memory. 

Ryan continues to walk, not noticing for several steps that the Doctor has come to a stop.

"No, no, no,  _no._ " She stands still, eyes glazed over, squeezing them shut and opening them again repeatedly. "Oh  _that's very inconvenient._ " 

"What's wrong?" Ryan backtracks, joining her in an instant and concerned she's dealing with some unseen injury. "What happened?"

"Oh that's  _terrible timing_! What is it with me and terrible timing!" The heels of her palms dig into her eyes, rubbing them briskly then pulling them away so she can try a couple experimental blinks. She drops her head, rubbing her eyes harder, and leaning against the wall as her sense of balance is suddenly compromised. "I had my whole life ahead of me for this to happen and you chose  _now_?" 

"Me? What did I do?" He drops the hand previously held out to steady her. 

The Doctor groans in frustration, lowering her own hands to her sides, taking a moment and a deep breath. "No, not you." She continues to blink desperately. "I can't see." 

" _You can't see?_ "

"Nope. Not a thing." She should have known her luck would lead to this. The world is dark and everything seems louder than usual - from the steady drip of water in a far off corner to the sound of Ryan's sneakers shuffling uncomfortably against the stone floor. "Don't ask me why. Too much to explain." 

She hears Ryan stick his hands in his pockets. "Well I for one can't get us out of here. How are we supposed to get back to the others if you can't see anything?"

"Excellent question. I'll have an answer for you here shortly." The Doctor aims to be assuring but is still teetering on the edge of doubt herself. This makes things a  _lot_ more difficult, but there's always a way. They'll just have to take the long way around metaphorically speaking. 

Silent, centering her focus on the enclosed world around them, the Doctor raises her hand to touch the wall again - exhales heavily to try and expel at least some of the worry building in her chest. She lets her fingertips caress the stone, eyes shut, one tentative step forward then another. "Let's keep moving." 

She hears the beginnings of a word come out of Ryan's mouth before he's apparently decided against protest, following his friend with a pace half the speed as before. Her brow knits and she focuses harder - listening, feeling, experiencing every detail in full down to the scent of the air. 

They come to a three-way fork in the path and Ryan looks to the Doctor for an answer to the inquiry that needs no voice, feeling on the verge of hopeless until the Doctor's confident statement kicks him back into gear. 

"Left." 

He wants to ask how she's sure,  _if_ she's even sure or just putting on an assuring facade for his sake. If that's the case, Ryan doesn't want to be right. He wants to believe that she can find the way out, not knowing how much longer he can tolerate the disorientation and lack of direction. 

The Doctor never releases her hand from the wall as they walk. A handful of times she stops, presses her palm harder against a section of the wall to get a better feel for it, then changes their route either back the way they came or in a direction Ryan didn't even know existed. He has no choice but to trust her. 

Some time has passed. How long? No telling. Could be half an hour or three for all Ryan knows, but it feels like days. 

"Doctor?" Just like every time he's tried to initiate conversation, she silences him with a hush and squeezes her eyes shut harder. When the Doctor's boot catches a stray rock on the floor, Ryan's reaction time isn't quick enough to catch her before she crashes full force into the ground. 

As soon as she feels his hand on her shoulder she bats it away, fingernails digging against the floor and forehead pressed into the coolness. She's frustrated - tranquility and patience out the window. A heavy breath jostles the hair that's fallen in front of her eyes and the Doctor slowly rises to her knees, and eventually back to her feet. She briskly rubs her hands together to alleviate the sting before placing one against the wall again, shaking the wobble from her legs, and continues forward again.

When she can smell fresh air and hear voices in the distance that Ryan obviously hasn't picked up yet her pace increases in purpose and stability, one hand still on the wall at this point just to keep herself upright. Soon Ryan can hear the sound of Graham and Yaz in the distance and his shoulders lose all of their tension. He runs ahead, looking up at the gap in the ceiling and intentionally laughing loud enough for his friends to hear. 

"Did you miss us?!" He beams, already clasping one round step of the rope ladder that's been lowered and secured from above. God, he hates ladders, but he's never been so relieved to see one. 

"Ryan!" Both Yaz and Graham call out in sync, happy faces illuminated by the starry sky that was definitely day-lit when Ryan last saw it. "

"You had me worried sick!" Graham grabs his grandson's hand to hoist him up the rest of the way as soon as he's in reach. "Are you alright?" 

Ryan lifts himself onto the surface with Graham's help and lays on his back, relishing in the starlight and fresh air against his skin. "Could really use a burger, but yeah. Not a scratch." 

Yaz is still looking down the hole, squinting to try to make out any shapes in the dark. "Where's the Doctor?" 

Ryan's expression immediately changes as he remembers the Doctor's predicament and he rolls onto his stomach, fingers gripping the edge of the hole as he hollers down. "Doctor! There's a ladder ahead of you, can you get to it?" 

"Is she okay?" Yaz questions when there's no reply from below.

"Something's wrong with her eyes." Ryan provides, trying to peer into the dark. "Doctor!" 

"Just a mo!" She finally responds, directly at the base of the ladder from the sound of it. Her words are loud but unsure, trailing off a bit at the end. 

Ryan wants to be the hero, to jump back down and lend her a hand since she's already gone through such lengths to rescue him from the labyrinth, but the thought of descending back into the confined space and back up again via rope ladder makes his stomach churn enough that he knows he'll be no use. He whispers respectfully, already having picked up on the Doctor's humiliation and frustration with her situation. "She might need help. From what I gathered she's blind at the moment. Yaz, think you could be a hero?" 

Graham's perched on the edge trying to make out of the shape of the Doctor in the darkness and Yaz is already descending the ladder, skipping the last few steps and landing securely on her feet.

"Doctor?" She finds her leaning against the wall, one hand covering her eyes, the other clenched into a fist against the dusty stone. "Ryan's up and safe. TARDIS isn't too far." No response. "Are you injured?" 

The Doctor drops her hand and opens her eyes, seeming to deflate at the result and closing them again so that she can keep pretending it's the only thing that prevents her from being able to see. It's the worst feeling and she didn't miss it at all. The lack of security, stability, the disorientation - except this time she doesn't have sonic sunglasses to bridge the gap. She doesn't want to take a single step for fear she'll trip and crash into the floor. She can take a punch no problem, but it's the fist that she can't bear. 

"No." She's being too sulky and the Doctor knows it.  _Get your act together, Doctor. You can sort this one way or another, but not from down here_. She can't help but ponder the possibility that she'll never be able to see again. After all, no monk invasion this time around to grant her mercy in exchange for control of the whole planet. The thoughts are forced to the back of her mind.  _Here and now._ She reminds herself.  _One step at a time._

"What's wrong with your eyes?" Yaz's voice is a lot closer now. 

The Doctor sighs, feeling heavy with distress, and keeps it brief. "A while back I borrowed a bit of sight from my future. Long story. Didn't think too much of it at the time. Thinking a bit too much of it now." 

Yaz doesn't understand enough to have any idea what to say. Still, her heart goes out. "Doctor, I-"

"It'll be fine." She interrupts. "The TARDIS isn't a miracle worker but it has it's moments. Lots of handy dandy stuff in there. I'll figure it out." The Doctor forces herself away from the security of the wall. "Which way is the ladder?"

Yaz puts a hand on her shoulder to guide her in the proper direction, but the Doctor refuses any assistance beyond that. She reaches out until her hand falls against the smooth bars of a ladder far less static than she would prefer. It wavers under her weight as she tries to take the first step up, falling backwards onto one ready foot a handful of times before finding her center of gravity again and continuing the climb.

The fresh air is calling her name, slowly but steadily growing closer and as soon as she feels the first wisp of wind against her face, Ryan and Graham are grabbing her hands and pulling her the rest of the way. 

As she rolls onto her back and listens to Yaz shuffle the rest of the way up, she longs to see the stars. She knows they're there - the skies are always clear around here, and she can sense twilight as easily as one could sniff a flower. She revels in the picture her imagination replaces the blackness with until a hand shaking her shoulder draws her out of the daze. 

"TARDIS?" It's Ryan's voice again, and she's thankful to hear him sounding a lot more at ease than he was earlier. 

The Doctor hums in agreement and elbows herself upright, feels the hand of Graham on her arm to assist her, but she shakes him off and rises to her feet solo. 

Wordlessly she allows a couple of them to take the lead, focusing on the sound of their footsteps and doing a mostly good job of matching them precisely. There's a set of steps parallel to her own - Yaz she suspects, and accepts the silent companionship with her first sigh of relief of the night.

The Doctor appreciates that they don't ask her any questions as they slowly trek home. The mutual respect lessens the embarrassment a tad and allows her to focus. 

She feels the presence of the TARDIS before she hears the doors open on their own accord, beckoning the four inside.

The familiarity instantly brings her peace. The Doctor strides confidently to the console, daring to open her eyes and appreciate the warmth of the air. Her fingers dance over the controls, a little slower than usual, but eventually results in securing the group safely in the time vortex. 

The Doctor sinks on her heels and rubs her eyes as the three sets of footsteps land right at her side. She's not a fan of hovering, but their presence adds to the sense of home. She doesn't mind. 

The silence doesn't end immediately, each of her friends waiting for one another to speak first. Graham eventually breaks it. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

She shoves her hands in her coat pockets since they have nothing else to do. "I need to do a scan with the sonic."

"Alright, where is it then?" Graham immediately turns a circle to do a quick overview of the console room before peeking over and under things in search for the item. Ryan and Yaz follow suit, grateful for something to do.

The Doctor curls her fingers around the cold device, not daring to wield it just yet. "In my pocket."

The three stop their searching and Yaz tilts her head. "Well then why are we looking for it."

The Doctor shrugs and hums an  _I don't know_ melody, drawing the device from her pocket and twirling it between both hands. "Chances are since I only  _borrowed_ sight from my future back in the day, that I'll get it back. Don't know when but sooner rather than later." Her thumb ghosts over the button but she holds back. 

Ryan speaks up, still a bit lost but following enough. "Well that's good then, yeah? And the scan will tell you that?"

"Yeah but that's just  _best case scenario_." She contends, having difficulty focusing on the positives no matter how likely the odds. " _Worst_ case scenario I'm blind for the remainder of this regeneration. Always knew it would be a risk - didn't think I'd mind too much, but I like this me! I just got it. Too early to screw it up." Her knuckles blanch as she squeezes the life out of the sonic, a couple calming breaths eventually allowing her to ease the grip. "If that's the case, I really don't want to find out. Cowardly, yeah. I know. That's my seventh middle name. Forgot to tell you." 

Their sympathy radiates through their silence and the Doctor's discomfort increases, but a hand that suddenly covers hers provides a link to reality. 

Yaz squeezes her hand in understanding and coaxes the screwdriver from her hold. The Doctor resists initially but relents with a slight droop of her head, releasing the device and leaning back against the console with her palms bracing her upright. 

"Anything specific I'm supposed to do?" Yaz holds the device out halfheartedly, unfamiliar with what's basically an extension of the Doctor's own arm.

"Just point and think. Press the button." She instructs, keeping it dead simple because it really is that simple. She closes her eyes uselessly, listens to the buzz of the sonic and bracing for emotional impact. 

A few moments before Yaz realizes she doesn't know how to read the diagnostics. The Doctor translates the silence. 

"Plug it into the console. There's a port over there," She nods to her right. "It'll translate to English on the displays." 

She listens as her directions are followed and a least two of them are holding their breath. Ryan and Graham join Yaz and peer over her shoulder.

The Doctor winces. She doesn't want to know. 

But then, Graham starts laughing. Ryan sighs heavily and Yaz hurries back to the Doctor to bump her happily in the shoulder. 

"You're gonna be fine! It's even got convenient time stamp for you. Three hours, twenty-two minutes and six seconds, Doctor. You'll be able to see again." Yaz's smile carries through all four souls.

The Doctor raises her eyebrows, not quite convinced. "You're positive?"

"I can vouch for her, Doc." Graham joins in. "Down to three hours twenty-one minutes now."

"Hang in there." Ryan encourages, and the relief in his voice is just contagious enough for the Doctor to let out a breathy laugh and sag a bit against the console. Her head hangs low, her smile impossibly wide.

It's not permanent. Three hours. She'll get to see the stars. She'll get to see all the suns and moons the universe has to offer. She'll get to see her friends'  _beautiful_ faces again. It's not permanent. Finally, she can breathe properly again. 

The Doctor straightens herself and brushes dust off her coat that isn't actually there, regaining her cool and shrugging with emphasis. Moment of weakness over. She's back in control. "I knew that." She can hear the eye rolls in the huffs and scoffs and Yaz groaning a  _yeah right._ Two hands belonging to separate individuals grab her shoulders in a quick shadow of a hug, then two hands belonging to the  _same_ individual grab her arms and draw her into a full embrace. She's immediately able to recognize the shape and smell of Yaz, who hugs her tight for too short of a time for the Doctor to return the action. 

They're all so genuinely thrilled -  _relieved_ for her. It makes her hearts hurt in a good way that she doesn't get to experience too often. 

She adores them. All three of them. And she's so,  _so_ thankful. 

**Author's Note:**

> There's another specific prompt I got on that other fic that I want to turn into it's own thing at some point so I'll be doing that one of these days. Check out There When You Need Them the Most bc I update it constantly.
> 
> Again, this was really fun to write so let me know what you think! Thanks for reading
> 
> (tumblr: strikingtwelves)


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